Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore. Garrison Keillor anymoredeathfunny Change image and share on social
I come more to Scotland than I ever used to, so I feel more connected to it, more part of the zeitgeist. You know when you realize you have a choice and I'm choosing my homeland. It's funny: when you get older these things creep up to you. Alan Cumming choicechooseconnect share on social
Every man has a sane spot somewhere. Robert Louis Stevenson mansanespot Change image and share on social
If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat! Demetri Martin fatladlespoon Change image and share on social
If you can find the line between sympathetic and creepy, you have reached a very funny area. Jason Segel areacreepyfind Change image and share on social
The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around. Thomas A. Edison bodybraincarry Change image and share on social
I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. Billy Connolly armyhaveknife Change image and share on social
Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin electricitylightningorganize Change image and share on social
Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help. Alex Haley anytimefencepost Change image and share on social
I read that John Hughes script for 'Mr. Mom,' and I thought, 'This guy is a funny writer.' I went: 'You ought to stick around and direct this thing.' But he didn't; he left, and look what he became. A really legendary comedy director. Michael Keaton comedydirectdirector share on social