I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host. David Letterman actdancehost Change image and share on social
Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish. Chevy Chase goldfishgreatmake Change image and share on social
To label me an intellectual is a misunderstanding of what that is. Dick Cavett intellectuallabelmisunderstand Change image and share on social
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out. Phyllis Diller eatkitchenodor Change image and share on social
The show is definitely not just about weight-loss physically. It's more about finding yourself. It's really funny because I realized at one of our table reads that 'Huge' was really about the weight that we carry around mentally. Raven Goodwin carryfindfunny share on social
My boy and I move. We have this game where if we dress in a particular item of clothing, we have to do a different movement. A hat means 20 jumps - that sort of thing. When I put a scarf on, my son has to drop down and do push-ups, immediately. He thinks it's really funny. Magnus Scheving boyclthedress share on social
Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs. Alfred Hitchcock backbelongbring Change image and share on social
Stealing, you'll go far in life. Actually, there is something funny about getting away with it. Mike Judge funnylifesteal Change image and share on social
I read that John Hughes script for 'Mr. Mom,' and I thought, 'This guy is a funny writer.' I went: 'You ought to stick around and direct this thing.' But he didn't; he left, and look what he became. A really legendary comedy director. Michael Keaton comedydirectdirector share on social
Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin electricitylightningorganize Change image and share on social
