Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. Demetri Martin employeegoodloser Change image and share on social
I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever they hate. And it's like, 'Okay. That's your opinion. Somebody liked it, so that's good.' Hopefully it balances out. Demetri Martin balancecomedycutesy share on social
A lot of people don't like bumper stickers. I don't mind bumper stickers. To me a bumper sticker is a shortcut. It's like a little sign that says 'Hey, let's never hang out.' Demetri Martin bumperhanghey Change image and share on social
And of course I didn't make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money. Demetri Martin jobmakemoney Change image and share on social
I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming. Demetri Martin daydreamfind Change image and share on social
And as far as actors go, Peter Sellers is my all-time favorite. Demetri Martin actorfavoritepeter Change image and share on social
I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.' Demetri Martin 000finishjigsaw Change image and share on social
I know about Woodstock probably as much as your average person who is over 30, where I'd know Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Grateful Dead. Demetri Martin averagedeadgrateful Change image and share on social
I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.' Demetri Martin clipcomputercool share on social
