Every television show you go on is a choice. Joan Rivers choiceshowtelevision Change image and share on social
Fat jokes aren't relevant, but they're hilarious when you find them. Joan Rivers fatfindhilarious Change image and share on social
Everyone forgets comedians are actors. There's no question about it. A Robin Williams cannot say the same line every night for 40 weeks and make it sound fresh unless he's doing an acting job. Joan Rivers actactorcomedian Change image and share on social
I had a friend who was a plastic surgeon, so he would do little things. I never had, like, a full thing. So I would go in maybe once every two or three years, and he'd do a little here, a little there; tweak you, like you tweak your car. Then I became the plastic surgery poster girl. Joan Rivers carfriendfull share on social
I hate old people, I hate children. I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool. Joan Rivers adoptcelebritychild Change image and share on social
I get butterflies before I go out to say hello at a party. Joan Rivers butterflyparty Change image and share on social
The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible. Joan Rivers badforwardhappen Change image and share on social
All my way through college, I worked my way as a window dresser for Lord & Taylor, so I always liked fashion. I always loved fashion and I love that we can do it and not take it seriously. Joan Rivers collegedresserfashion Change image and share on social
I walk on a stage, and I know if it's been a good show or not. You know when it's been a good interview. No one has to tell you. You know it. You feel it. You can feel the air. You can feel everything about it when it's a good show. And you know when you've messed up. Joan Rivers airfeelgood share on social
Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. Joan Rivers husbandkillerlove Change image and share on social
