Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America. James Joyce americachristophercolumbus Change image and share on social
It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too. Bob Saget aristocratcleanclock share on social
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. Douglas Adams deadlineflylove Change image and share on social
They're just jokes, people. They can't all be funny. Theo Von funnyjokepeople Change image and share on social
I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host. David Letterman actdancehost Change image and share on social
Turn up the lights. I don't want to go home in the dark. O. Henry darkhomelight Change image and share on social
I direct with energy. I believe in energy. I think energy is an electric thing in actors. I try to inspire, encourage, and make choices with lots of energy. And truth. I'm big fan of truth and being funny. I like leading 50 people into battle every day. Matthew Lillard actorbattlebig share on social
I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from. Eddie Izzard europegrowhistory Change image and share on social
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out. Phyllis Diller eatkitchenodor Change image and share on social
To label me an intellectual is a misunderstanding of what that is. Dick Cavett intellectuallabelmisunderstand Change image and share on social