If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work. Mitch Hedberg drawkidkitchen Change image and share on social
I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy. Mitch Hedberg codecrazydancer Change image and share on social
Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes. Mitch Hedberg bolognadelieye Change image and share on social
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me. Mitch Hedberg crateforkforklift Change image and share on social
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. Mitch Hedberg dreamgoinhook Change image and share on social
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall. Mitch Hedberg depressgoodmatter Change image and share on social
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. Mitch Hedberg boildrinkwant Change image and share on social
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. Mitch Hedberg buycakecandle Change image and share on social
I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people. Mitch Hedberg katkitpeople Change image and share on social
My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set. Mitch Hedberg actresscallhalfway Change image and share on social
