Mitch Hedberg

I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.

Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

I like villains because there's something so attractive about a committed person - they have a plan, an ideology, no matter how twisted. They're motivated.

It is good to be in front of the lens to appreciate more being behind the lens.

I had siblings from South Asia, from East Asia, from depressed communities around America, and you know, we'd have long conversations.