I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart. Mitch Hedberg cartgoodmake Change image and share on social
It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky. Mitch Hedberg cockydangeroushand Change image and share on social
My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set. Mitch Hedberg actresscallhalfway Change image and share on social
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down. Mitch Hedberg backpackbringday Change image and share on social
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. Mitch Hedberg approvefunnyjoke Change image and share on social
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap. Mitch Hedberg pancakesyruptrap Change image and share on social
I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. Mitch Hedberg humanpyramidunnecessary Change image and share on social
I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle. Mitch Hedberg fingerwhistle Change image and share on social
I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before. Mitch Hedberg leagueplay Change image and share on social
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus? Mitch Hedberg coolhippopotamusopotamus Change image and share on social