People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine. David Letterman cabcompleteengine Change image and share on social
President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind? David Letterman bushguyhell Change image and share on social
We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours. David Letterman baddefeatgood Change image and share on social
We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since this guy has gotten laid in the private sector. David Letterman clintonexpensefun Change image and share on social
We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets. David Letterman apologybombcertificate share on social
Anything worth doing is worth overdoing. David Letterman overdoworth Change image and share on social
Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel. David Letterman badbombcamel Change image and share on social
A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know I'm thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag. David Letterman demandevidenceflag share on social
Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard. David Letterman badlychangedemocratic Change image and share on social
I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red. David Letterman boyfaceidea Change image and share on social
