Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off. Phyllis Diller aimfoothigh Change image and share on social
I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. Phyllis Diller eighteenironyear Change image and share on social
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? Phyllis Diller chancehouseworkkill Change image and share on social
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room. Phyllis Diller askburtreynolds Change image and share on social
My own laugh is the real thing and I've had it all my life. Phyllis Diller havelaughlife Change image and share on social
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children. Phyllis Diller advicebottlechild Change image and share on social
My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me. Phyllis Diller justicephotograph Change image and share on social
It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core. Phyllis Diller beautycoredeep Change image and share on social
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. Phyllis Diller childlivemonth Change image and share on social
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. Phyllis Diller childchoosehome Change image and share on social
