The last thing I'd learn, well into my career, was how to get on, how to say hello, how to get in with the audience. Phyllis Diller audiencecareerlearn Change image and share on social
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. Phyllis Diller accidentallydayenjoy Change image and share on social
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. Phyllis Diller childchoosehome Change image and share on social
There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. Phyllis Diller accountbankcheck Change image and share on social
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. Phyllis Diller agegloveliver Change image and share on social
My own laugh is the real thing and I've had it all my life. Phyllis Diller havelaughlife Change image and share on social
Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off. Phyllis Diller aimfoothigh Change image and share on social
It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core. Phyllis Diller beautycoredeep Change image and share on social
The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you. Phyllis Diller headlaughpro Change image and share on social
