Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out. Phyllis Diller eatkitchenodor Change image and share on social
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. Phyllis Diller badcommemoratecook Change image and share on social
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. Phyllis Diller childchoosehome Change image and share on social
Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off. Phyllis Diller aimfoothigh Change image and share on social
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room. Phyllis Diller askburtreynolds Change image and share on social
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. Phyllis Diller agegloveliver Change image and share on social
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? Phyllis Diller chancehouseworkkill Change image and share on social
My own laugh is the real thing and I've had it all my life. Phyllis Diller havelaughlife Change image and share on social
My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me. Phyllis Diller justicephotograph Change image and share on social
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. Phyllis Diller diedoglick Change image and share on social
