When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. Steven Wright boxchildeventually Change image and share on social
If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey? Steven Wright millionmonkeyshakespeare Change image and share on social
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly. Steven Wright companygamemake Change image and share on social
I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm not on the road. There's this guy, this comedian, and this is how he thinks, but people really don't know anything about me. Steven Wright comediangirlfriendguy share on social
I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it. Steven Wright feelhourlaugh Change image and share on social
I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4. Steven Wright blackeyekid Change image and share on social
I invented the cordless extension cord. Steven Wright cordcordlessextension Change image and share on social
Comedians are sociologists. We're pointing out stuff that the general public doesn't even stop to think about, looking at life in slow-motion and questioning everything we see. Steven Wright comediangenerallife Change image and share on social