Top 181 Quotes by Steven Wright

About Steven Wright

These are some quotes by American author Steven Wright Comedian, who was born on December 6, 1955.

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

Steven Wright

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

Steven Wright

What a nice night for an evening.

What a nice night for an evening.

Steven Wright

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Steven Wright

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Steven Wright

It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The bad stuff is extra-worse. The silences are extra-silent. The good stuff is amazing. It's electric when you walk out there. For 90 minutes, you're on this other planet.

Steven Wright

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.

Steven Wright

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

Steven Wright

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'

Steven Wright

What's another word for Thesaurus?

What's another word for Thesaurus?

Steven Wright

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