I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it. Steven Wright feelhourlaugh Change image and share on social
I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4. Steven Wright blackeyekid Change image and share on social
I invented the cordless extension cord. Steven Wright cordcordlessextension Change image and share on social
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. Steven Wright cholesteroldrivefast Change image and share on social
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff. Steven Wright blackboxmake Change image and share on social
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. Steven Wright dogpourremover Change image and share on social
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it. Steven Wright beachcollectionhave Change image and share on social
In a lot of ways, success is much harder than I thought it would be. I figured that you'd get here and then everything would be happily ever after. But, it's hard work, almost harder once you're successful because you've got to maintain it. Steven Wright figurehappilyhard share on social
Childhood was very nice. The only thing wrong was that I was so introverted, everything became a big deal... 'Oh, no, here comes the bus. Where am I gonna sit on the bus?' Steven Wright bigbuschildhood Change image and share on social
