I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4. Steven Wright blackeyekid Change image and share on social
I invented the cordless extension cord. Steven Wright cordcordlessextension Change image and share on social
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. Steven Wright bodydiefiction Change image and share on social
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. Steven Wright cholesteroldrivefast Change image and share on social
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff. Steven Wright blackboxmake Change image and share on social
I was born. When I was 23 I started telling jokes. Then I started going on television and doing films. That's still what I am doing. The end. Steven Wright bearendfilm Change image and share on social
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it. Steven Wright beachcollectionhave Change image and share on social
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny. Steven Wright centmakepenny Change image and share on social
Honestly, I just go to restaurants to eat so I won't die. If there was a pill I could take in January and then I wouldn't have to eat again for the rest of the year, I would take it. Of course, I wouldn't want to sacrifice my chocolate cake and ice cream. Steven Wright cakechocolatecream share on social
