To the audience, it's like I'm changing the subject every five seconds, but to me, my show's almost like a 90-minute song that I know exactly. I wrote every note, and I know exactly where everything is. Steven Wright audiencechangeminute share on social
I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I see things in a word or a situation or a concept, and it will create a joke for me. Steven Wright conceptcontrivecreate share on social
I didn't want to be selling insurance at 40, wondering what would it have been like to do stand-up. Steven Wright insurancesellstand Change image and share on social
I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them. Steven Wright politicpolitician Change image and share on social
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out. Steven Wright answercallcar Change image and share on social
I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair, and it's the same. Steven Wright biblefictionglass Change image and share on social
Comedians are sociologists. We're pointing out stuff that the general public doesn't even stop to think about, looking at life in slow-motion and questioning everything we see. Steven Wright comediangenerallife Change image and share on social
I like to reminisce with people I don't know. Steven Wright peoplereminisce Change image and share on social
I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy. Steven Wright cardizzydrive Change image and share on social
Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.' Steven Wright askboatbook Change image and share on social
