Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories. Steven Wright backbringmemory Change image and share on social
I haven't changed at all. I'm the same as when I was 11. Steven Wright change Change image and share on social
I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about. Steven Wright babyconsciousnesshell Change image and share on social
I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it. Steven Wright existentialmapwrite Change image and share on social
I have all the emotions that everyone has; it just appears that I don't. Steven Wright appearemotion Change image and share on social
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.' Steven Wright askgirlfriendgood Change image and share on social
If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses. Steven Wright hearparenthesis Change image and share on social
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. Steven Wright carheadlightlight Change image and share on social
One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him. Steven Wright chargedayguy Change image and share on social
The things I talk about and explain couldn't happen - yet, they don't seem impossible - you could say I talk about the world in an abstract perspective. But then, the world is basically insane - and it's trying to pass itself off as being a sane place. I show it for what it is. Steven Wright abstractbasicallyexplain share on social
