I haven't changed at all. I'm the same as when I was 11. Steven Wright change Change image and share on social
I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about. Steven Wright babyconsciousnesshell Change image and share on social
I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list. Steven Wright billchaindollar Change image and share on social
I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it. Steven Wright existentialmapwrite Change image and share on social
The things I talk about and explain couldn't happen - yet, they don't seem impossible - you could say I talk about the world in an abstract perspective. But then, the world is basically insane - and it's trying to pass itself off as being a sane place. I show it for what it is. Steven Wright abstractbasicallyexplain share on social
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators. Steven Wright departmentescalatoroutage Change image and share on social
I have all the emotions that everyone has; it just appears that I don't. Steven Wright appearemotion Change image and share on social
George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk. Steven Wright announcerbridgegeorge Change image and share on social
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.' Steven Wright askgirlfriendgood Change image and share on social
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. Steven Wright birthdayfighthumidifier Change image and share on social
