I have all the emotions that everyone has; it just appears that I don't. Steven Wright appearemotion Change image and share on social
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. Steven Wright carddiefull Change image and share on social
I haven't changed at all. I'm the same as when I was 11. Steven Wright change Change image and share on social
I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about. Steven Wright babyconsciousnesshell Change image and share on social
I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it. Steven Wright existentialmapwrite Change image and share on social
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators. Steven Wright departmentescalatoroutage Change image and share on social
I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I see things in a word or a situation or a concept, and it will create a joke for me. Steven Wright conceptcontrivecreate share on social
I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head. Steven Wright backcasualcircus Change image and share on social
Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home. Steven Wright childchoosehome Change image and share on social
I was always making my friends laugh, but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom. Steven Wright attentionclassroomfriend Change image and share on social
