I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. Steven Wright eyeglassprescriptionrun Change image and share on social
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? Steven Wright breakcoffeeemployee Change image and share on social
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. Steven Wright birthdayfighthumidifier Change image and share on social
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. Steven Wright apartmentelephantlose Change image and share on social
I like to talk about lint and coasters, the expansion of the universe and maybe McDonald's. I'm completely turned off by the idea of politics. Steven Wright coastercompletelyexpansion Change image and share on social
I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious! Steven Wright apartmentfuriousinstall Change image and share on social
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.' Steven Wright birthdayburncandle Change image and share on social
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you. Steven Wright skydivesucceed Change image and share on social
George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk. Steven Wright announcerbridgegeorge Change image and share on social
