I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything. Steven Wright dictionarypoemread Change image and share on social
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. Steven Wright experience Change image and share on social
I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add. Steven Wright addpowderwater Change image and share on social
I'm used to seeing it, but it's weird having an Academy Award. You usually only see one of them on the TV show when they give them out, so it's kind of surreal to have one in your house. Steven Wright academyawardgive Change image and share on social
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. Steven Wright eyeglassprescriptionrun Change image and share on social
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? Steven Wright breakcoffeeemployee Change image and share on social
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. Steven Wright apartmentelephantlose Change image and share on social
My doctor told me I shouldn't work out until I'm in better shape. I told him, 'All right; don't send me a bill until I pay you.' Steven Wright billdoctorpay Change image and share on social
