My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat. Rodney Dangerfield antlerchocolatecook Change image and share on social
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't. Rodney Dangerfield fightfullhope Change image and share on social
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. Rodney Dangerfield fatherfingerkidnap Change image and share on social
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Rodney Dangerfield findkidlot Change image and share on social
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met. Rodney Dangerfield happymeetwife Change image and share on social
My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light. Rodney Dangerfield afraiddarklight Change image and share on social
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. Rodney Dangerfield bartenderplumberpsychiatrist Change image and share on social
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid. Rodney Dangerfield calldogegypt Change image and share on social
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass. Rodney Dangerfield dogdrinkglass Change image and share on social
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it. Rodney Dangerfield dayeyegarbage Change image and share on social
