If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all. Rodney Dangerfield lifepickpocket Change image and share on social
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm. Rodney Dangerfield armbonedog Change image and share on social
One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control. Rodney Dangerfield askbirthboy Change image and share on social
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. Rodney Dangerfield crazyopinionpsychiatrist Change image and share on social
I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. Rodney Dangerfield agefactfood Change image and share on social
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. Rodney Dangerfield honestluckpolitician Change image and share on social
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. Rodney Dangerfield carryfatherkid Change image and share on social
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife. Rodney Dangerfield beebirdbutcher Change image and share on social
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me. Rodney Dangerfield fruitguyhear Change image and share on social
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together. Rodney Dangerfield dinnermarriageroom Change image and share on social
