On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. Rodney Dangerfield halloweenkidparent Change image and share on social
The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. Rodney Dangerfield honestluckpolitician Change image and share on social
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. Rodney Dangerfield asleepblindday Change image and share on social
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it. Rodney Dangerfield drinkgiveolive Change image and share on social
I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going. Rodney Dangerfield comedrinkjuice Change image and share on social
I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette. Rodney Dangerfield cigarettegeneralmeet Change image and share on social
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me. Rodney Dangerfield cheatgoodgoodness Change image and share on social
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out. Rodney Dangerfield breakfightgame Change image and share on social
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it. Rodney Dangerfield dogfamilyfind Change image and share on social
My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat. Rodney Dangerfield antlerchocolatecook Change image and share on social