On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. Rodney Dangerfield halloweenkidparent Change image and share on social
The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. Rodney Dangerfield honestluckpolitician Change image and share on social
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. Rodney Dangerfield asleepblindday Change image and share on social
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it. Rodney Dangerfield drinkgiveolive Change image and share on social
I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going. Rodney Dangerfield comedrinkjuice Change image and share on social
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself. Rodney Dangerfield attackcontrolgirl Change image and share on social
I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette. Rodney Dangerfield cigarettegeneralmeet Change image and share on social
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me. Rodney Dangerfield cheatgoodgoodness Change image and share on social
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out. Rodney Dangerfield breakfightgame Change image and share on social
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it. Rodney Dangerfield dogfamilyfind Change image and share on social
