Rodney Dangerfield

Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

James Bond is quite serious about his drinks and clothing and cigarettes and food and all that sort of thing. There is nothing wry or amused about James Bond.

I have a dog named Steve that lives at the studio.