When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother. Rodney Dangerfield beardoctormother Change image and share on social
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. Rodney Dangerfield fatfindhang Change image and share on social
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive. Rodney Dangerfield backcardrive Change image and share on social
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me. Rodney Dangerfield birthdayjoinmake Change image and share on social
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get. Rodney Dangerfield bigpeoplepet Change image and share on social
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was. Rodney Dangerfield calendardayjealousy Change image and share on social
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot. Rodney Dangerfield feedmothershoot Change image and share on social
My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock. Rodney Dangerfield benbigclock Change image and share on social
With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other! Rodney Dangerfield nightpsychiatristsex Change image and share on social
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home. Rodney Dangerfield comedoorhome Change image and share on social
