My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it. Rodney Dangerfield dayeyegarbage Change image and share on social
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm. Rodney Dangerfield armbonedog Change image and share on social
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother. Rodney Dangerfield beardoctormother Change image and share on social
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. Rodney Dangerfield browndentisttell Change image and share on social
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. Rodney Dangerfield hatemeetpsychiatrist Change image and share on social
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. Rodney Dangerfield bartenderplumberpsychiatrist Change image and share on social
I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. Rodney Dangerfield agefactfood Change image and share on social
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. Rodney Dangerfield honestluckpolitician Change image and share on social
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. Rodney Dangerfield halloweenkidparent Change image and share on social
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. Rodney Dangerfield interruptspeakwife Change image and share on social
