Top 451 Funny Quotes

I understand a woman who validates herself by getting attention from the opposite sex. I have a friend who is that to a T... Doesn't mean she isn't a good person. That's a funny character to play.

I understand a woman who validates herself by getting attention from the opposite sex. I have a friend who is that to a T... Doesn't mean she isn't a good person. That's a funny character to play.

Cheryl Hines

I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.

I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.

Carol Burnett

I didn't grow up thinking I was pretty; there was always a prettier girl than me. So I learned to be smart and tried to be funny and develop the inside of me, because I felt like that's what I had.

I didn't grow up thinking I was pretty; there was always a prettier girl than me. So I learned to be smart and tried to be funny and develop the inside of me, because I felt like that's what I had.

Kerry Washington

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

Jay London

I don't get offered many dramatic roles. As soon as my face pops up in a movie, everyone knows I'm the funny guy.

I don't get offered many dramatic roles. As soon as my face pops up in a movie, everyone knows I'm the funny guy.

Chris Elliott

'Crash' came from personal experience. I saw things inside me from living in L.A. that made me uncomfortable. I saw horrible things in people and saw terrible things in myself. I saw a black director completely humiliated, but the three people around me just thought it was funny. 'No,' I said, 'that is selling your soul.'

Paul Haggis

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

Jules Renard

I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.

I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.

Stephen Fry

When you're from a boring town, you have to find things to do. It's funny: I always knew I wanted to make music, so I was always kind of ahead of my peers. I had an MP3 player by the time I was in the fourth grade.

Shamir

Every day after school for 10 years, I was on the set of 'Married... with Children,' which is a really funny and perverse place for a little girl in a Catholic school uniform to grow up.

Every day after school for 10 years, I was on the set of 'Married... with Children,' which is a really funny and perverse place for a little girl in a Catholic school uniform to grow up.

Meghan Markle

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