Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown. Erma Bombeck entertaingrowkid Change image and share on social
I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. Erma Bombeck buzzardcarexercise Change image and share on social
Never order food in excess of your body weight. Erma Bombeck bodyexcessfood Change image and share on social
When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911. Erma Bombeck barkbathroomcall Change image and share on social
Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub. Erma Bombeck agebathtubdog Change image and share on social
For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward. Erma Bombeck companiondinnerhome share on social
Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you. Erma Bombeck jonese Change image and share on social
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. Erma Bombeck birthdaydefendelectric Change image and share on social
Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go. Erma Bombeck buryegyptianforever Change image and share on social
