Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide. Erma Bombeck humoristliterarystart Change image and share on social
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. Erma Bombeck birthcarlend Change image and share on social
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow. Erma Bombeck bthecarecomfortable Change image and share on social
Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you. Erma Bombeck callchildhigh Change image and share on social
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. Erma Bombeck deaddeclarefootball Change image and share on social
Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments. Erma Bombeck automobilecardesigner Change image and share on social
It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows. Erma Bombeck carchildwindow Change image and share on social
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone? Erma Bombeck belongcarouselluggage Change image and share on social
Never order food in excess of your body weight. Erma Bombeck bodyexcessfood Change image and share on social
