I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex. Erma Bombeck affairgivehave Change image and share on social
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone? Erma Bombeck belongcarouselluggage Change image and share on social
Never have more children than you have car windows. Erma Bombeck carchildwindow Change image and share on social
For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy. Erma Bombeck easylastlong Change image and share on social
Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead. Erma Bombeck browndeadfruit Change image and share on social
Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it. Erma Bombeck admitchildcritical Change image and share on social
Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, 'A house guest,' you're wrong because I have just described my kids. Erma Bombeck answercallclean share on social
There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it. Erma Bombeck cupmeasuremother Change image and share on social
Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it. Erma Bombeck bookclubcomputer Change image and share on social
I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it. Erma Bombeck attendcarrycourage Change image and share on social
