Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone? Erma Bombeck belongcarouselluggage Change image and share on social
Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago. Erma Bombeck agobackbox Change image and share on social
For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy. Erma Bombeck easylastlong Change image and share on social
House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad. Erma Bombeck badguesthouse Change image and share on social
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. Erma Bombeck batterycarguarantee Change image and share on social
Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old. Erma Bombeck cartshopsteal Change image and share on social
There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it. Erma Bombeck cupmeasuremother Change image and share on social
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week? Erma Bombeck buysaleweek Change image and share on social
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you? Erma Bombeck blockcarecatch Change image and share on social
For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward. Erma Bombeck companiondinnerhome share on social
