The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. Erma Bombeck breathehearheavy Change image and share on social
When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway. Erma Bombeck adviceanswerask Change image and share on social
Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated. Erma Bombeck graduatehighpregnant Change image and share on social
Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it. Erma Bombeck admitchildcritical Change image and share on social
Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely. Erma Bombeck dreamdreamerlonely Change image and share on social
Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother. Erma Bombeck decreeinfiniteleague Change image and share on social
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. Erma Bombeck dietfatfriend Change image and share on social
What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere? Erma Bombeck askchestdirection Change image and share on social
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. Erma Bombeck beverageconsiderfamily Change image and share on social
For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward. Erma Bombeck companiondinnerhome share on social
