I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up. Erma Bombeck blowbraincomputer Change image and share on social
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'. Erma Bombeck biteendgive Change image and share on social
I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. Erma Bombeck buzzardcarexercise Change image and share on social
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. Erma Bombeck breathehearheavy Change image and share on social
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time. Erma Bombeck carcushionimprove Change image and share on social
Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago. Erma Bombeck agobackbox Change image and share on social
For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward. Erma Bombeck companiondinnerhome share on social
Housework, if you do it right, will kill you. Erma Bombeck houseworkkill Change image and share on social
Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated. Erma Bombeck graduatehighpregnant Change image and share on social
I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it. Erma Bombeck attendcarrycourage Change image and share on social
