One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is. Erma Bombeck childdropexpect Change image and share on social
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'. Erma Bombeck biteendgive Change image and share on social
Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated. Erma Bombeck graduatehighpregnant Change image and share on social
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. Erma Bombeck beverageconsiderfamily Change image and share on social
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Erma Bombeck diedoctoroffice Change image and share on social
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time. Erma Bombeck carcushionimprove Change image and share on social
Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go. Erma Bombeck buryegyptianforever Change image and share on social
There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M. Erma Bombeck bodyeatfigure Change image and share on social
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. Erma Bombeck dietfatfriend Change image and share on social
What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere? Erma Bombeck askchestdirection Change image and share on social