I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up. Erma Bombeck blowbraincomputer Change image and share on social
I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair. Erma Bombeck affairpaperroute Change image and share on social
Housework, if you do it right, will kill you. Erma Bombeck houseworkkill Change image and share on social
I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes. Erma Bombeck clothecopygeographic Change image and share on social
When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911. Erma Bombeck barkbathroomcall Change image and share on social
In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television. Erma Bombeck childdanceeat Change image and share on social
Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, 'A house guest,' you're wrong because I have just described my kids. Erma Bombeck answercallclean share on social
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. Erma Bombeck awakechildchristmas Change image and share on social
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone? Erma Bombeck belongcarouselluggage Change image and share on social
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. Erma Bombeck birthdaydefendelectric Change image and share on social