Top 77 Quotes by Erma Bombeck

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.

Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.

Never have more children than you have car windows.

Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.

Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.

Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.

When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.