One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is. Erma Bombeck childdropexpect Change image and share on social
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. Erma Bombeck couragedreamlot Change image and share on social
In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. Erma Bombeck braceletcharmdecade Change image and share on social
On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings. Erma Bombeck beachbelongingbody Change image and share on social
I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order. Erma Bombeck alphabeticaldieitem Change image and share on social
Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, 'A house guest,' you're wrong because I have just described my kids. Erma Bombeck answercallclean share on social
Never accept a drink from a urologist. Erma Bombeck acceptdrinkurologist Change image and share on social
I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it. Erma Bombeck attendcarrycourage Change image and share on social
When humor goes, there goes civilization. Erma Bombeck civilizationhumor Change image and share on social
In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television. Erma Bombeck childdanceeat Change image and share on social
