Rodney Dangerfield

Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

I hate the bad rap that people give my parents. Because they are just parents, really, at the end of the day trying to stand up for their daughter and themselves.

Any man who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.

My style is Edie Sedgwick meets Grace Jones, or Audrey Hepburn meets Salt 'n' Pepa. Strong and feisty but still classic.