I think I'm in a business where you have to look good, and it's totally youth-oriented. Joan Rivers businessgoodorient Change image and share on social
I have no line. If I think it's funny, it's funny. Joan Rivers funnyline Change image and share on social
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. Joan Rivers beddishhate Change image and share on social
I had a friend who was a plastic surgeon, so he would do little things. I never had, like, a full thing. So I would go in maybe once every two or three years, and he'd do a little here, a little there; tweak you, like you tweak your car. Then I became the plastic surgery poster girl. Joan Rivers carfriendfull share on social
It's like, God, I'm in my 80s. Nobody, when I die, is going to say, 'How young?' They're going to say she had a great ride. Joan Rivers 80sdiegod Change image and share on social
Trust me, there's not one night a week I'm not in a theater somewhere. I adore theater, and I go out with friends, so I do have some nights off. Joan Rivers adorefriendnight Change image and share on social
I think I was the third person in the world to get a Kindle, and I hated it from the minute I got it. Joan Rivers hatekindleminute Change image and share on social
I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds. Joan Rivers bedblamebunk Change image and share on social
Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you. Joan Rivers acceptcomediennefunny Change image and share on social
Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be. Joan Rivers equalfortypartner Change image and share on social
