There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl. Joan Rivers beautifulcomicfemale Change image and share on social
I could be the Greta Garbo of comedy, very secluded, but Garbo had a man who was beyond rich to support her. Joan Rivers comedygarbogreta Change image and share on social
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp. Joan Rivers askmakeman Change image and share on social
I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds. Joan Rivers bedblamebunk Change image and share on social
I think I was the third person in the world to get a Kindle, and I hated it from the minute I got it. Joan Rivers hatekindleminute Change image and share on social
Comedy is learning to be funny, and you learn to be funny in small rooms with young audiences. Joan Rivers audiencecomedyfunny Change image and share on social
Life does not measure up to performing... Performing is perfect. Joan Rivers lifemeasureperfect Change image and share on social
Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on planes. I'm very shallow, so they tend to be little things. To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day I was born, you know, about diapers or something. Joan Rivers ageangryanymore share on social
Being Jewish has always been important to me. I now have 6M tattooed on the inside of my left arm. It's only a half-inch, but every time anyone sees it, they're reminded of the six million who perished, and so am I. Joan Rivers armhalfimportant share on social
The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible. Joan Rivers badforwardhappen Change image and share on social