Being Jewish has always been important to me. I now have 6M tattooed on the inside of my left arm. It's only a half-inch, but every time anyone sees it, they're reminded of the six million who perished, and so am I. Joan Rivers armhalfimportant share on social
I've always been salaried; I've never owned anything. I've done very well, lived very well. Joan Rivers haveliveown Change image and share on social
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor. Joan Rivers benddiamondfloor Change image and share on social
I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware. Joan Rivers bodydiedonate Change image and share on social
I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent. Joan Rivers attractivechildgirl Change image and share on social
It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom. Joan Rivers forgethavelong Change image and share on social
Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough. Joan Rivers laughlifetough Change image and share on social
She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven. Joan Rivers conceptelevenfight Change image and share on social
My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash. Joan Rivers birthcordcut Change image and share on social
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it. Joan Rivers joggersmiletime Change image and share on social
