Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present. Joan Rivers callgiftgod Change image and share on social
I've learned from my dealings with Johnny Carson that no matter what kind of friendship you think you have with people you're working with, when the chips are down, it's all about business. Joan Rivers businesscarsonchip Change image and share on social
I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor. Joan Rivers benddiamondexcercise Change image and share on social
I have no line. If I think it's funny, it's funny. Joan Rivers funnyline Change image and share on social
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. Joan Rivers beddishhate Change image and share on social
My career is as an actress. I am an actress playing a comedienne. Joan Rivers actresscareercomedienne Change image and share on social
Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. Joan Rivers husbandkillerlove Change image and share on social
I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage. Joan Rivers onstagepsychiatristwonderful Change image and share on social
I made so many jokes about poor Russell Crowe, he once knocked on my dressing room door, and told me he wanted to go out on this chat show we were on to laugh with me. Now he's ruined it. I can't make another joke about him. Joan Rivers chatcrowedoor share on social
Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough. Joan Rivers laughlifetough Change image and share on social
