I prefer the old theaters because the audience is... trapped. Jerry Seinfeld audienceprefertheater Change image and share on social
I like money, but it's never been about the money. Jerry Seinfeld money Change image and share on social
If you're a surfer, you just want to surf. You don't know if anyone's going to see you, and you don't really care if they see you. You just live for that feeling. Jerry Seinfeld carefeltlive Change image and share on social
You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' Jerry Seinfeld blowcakecandle Change image and share on social
The Internet offers opportunities that are more unique than ever before. With TV, I know I'm making 22 minutes; I know there's a commercial in the middle. With the Internet, no one knows anything. No rules. Jerry Seinfeld commercialinternetmake share on social
I wrote an article on a new Porsche for 'Automobile Magazine.' I knew the editor, and she asked me to write this article. So I'm more proud of that than anything. Jerry Seinfeld articleaskautomobile Change image and share on social
Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic - you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner. Jerry Seinfeld beginnercallcomic Change image and share on social
People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to. Jerry Seinfeld deserveliepeople Change image and share on social
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash. Jerry Seinfeld bigbloodstainbody share on social
I think of myself more as a sportsman than I do an artist. Jerry Seinfeld artistsportsman Change image and share on social
