Top 451 Funny Quotes

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Margaret Mead

On 'Lab Rats,' I read the script probably three or four times before we ever even do a table read because I want to be completely prepared. And I want to know exactly which beats I have to hit and where I need to make something comical. Some lines need a little more than others do just to get the point across, to get the joke to be funny.

Billy Unger

When I die, I want it to say 'Short and Funny' on my tombstone.

When I die, I want it to say 'Short and Funny' on my tombstone.

John Requa

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

Joe E. Lewis

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

Lily Tomlin

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

Lily Tomlin

A lot of people don't think of my work as being all that funny, but I think it's hilarious!

A lot of people don't think of my work as being all that funny, but I think it's hilarious!

Fred Tomaselli

I think I've got a funny face.

I think I've got a funny face.

Dominic West

What you do with it and things like that, but I basically chose this after I read it because I thought it was different and funny and unique and dark - things that I like to do.

What you do with it and things like that, but I basically chose this after I read it because I thought it was different and funny and unique and dark - things that I like to do.

Danny DeVito

I loved Omar Vizquel. He tells some really long jokes, and he has his own way of telling them, but he can make every joke very funny. He would always come up with jokes on the loudspeaker on the bus.

I loved Omar Vizquel. He tells some really long jokes, and he has his own way of telling them, but he can make every joke very funny. He would always come up with jokes on the loudspeaker on the bus.

Steve Finley

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