The shooting of the guns, that was kind of funny, because rolling a cigarette and shooting a gun aren't like normal things for a 13-year old girl! Hailee Steinfeld cigarettefunnygirl Change image and share on social
Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help. Alex Haley anytimefencepost Change image and share on social
Comedy is the slave of time. What seemed funny then is unlikely to seem funny now, just as what strikes us as funny now would not have seemed funny then. Craig Brown comedyfunnyslave Change image and share on social
It's funny, because in 1970 I met the Beatles quite by a chance at a party. It was the Beethoven bicentenary, and I was then also playing the Beethoven Sonatas. And that's all they wanted to hear about - I wanted to talk about them, and all they wanted to talk about was Beethoven. Daniel Barenboim beatlesbeethovenbicentenary share on social
The things that make me laugh are considered smart or whatever, I guess. But stuff that's self-consciously intelligent or self-consciously hip or cool, that doesn't do it for me either. You just try to be funny. Greg Giraldo consciouslyconsidercool share on social
I'm an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat. Harold Wilson carryoptimistraincoat Change image and share on social
I'm going to marry a Jewish woman because I like the idea of getting up Sunday morning and going to the deli. Michael J. Fox deliideajewish Change image and share on social
If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. O. Henry knowmanmarry Change image and share on social
There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice. Lewis Black juicemilksoy Change image and share on social
