Top 451 Funny Quotes

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.

Mitch Hedberg

I love doing funny promos like the ones I did wrestling Rey Mysterio.

I love doing funny promos like the ones I did wrestling Rey Mysterio.

Kurt Angle

And when you're on your own there is that terrifying possibility that you may be the only person on the planet who thinks it's funny - and you have no way of finding out.

And when you're on your own there is that terrifying possibility that you may be the only person on the planet who thinks it's funny - and you have no way of finding out.

Denis Norden

It took me eight books to finally be at a point in my career where I could come out with a book and say, 'This is meant to be a funny book,' and we didn't have to make any bones about it.

It took me eight books to finally be at a point in my career where I could come out with a book and say, 'This is meant to be a funny book,' and we didn't have to make any bones about it.

John Scalzi

I grew up in a funny way.

I grew up in a funny way.

Gordon Ramsay

I thought I was funny as a kid. I used to play tricks on my brothers - I'd tie a two-shilling piece to a bit of cotton, then pull it away as they went to grab it.

I thought I was funny as a kid. I used to play tricks on my brothers - I'd tie a two-shilling piece to a bit of cotton, then pull it away as they went to grab it.

Jo Brand

The importance of satire is bringing more people to the table. There are a lot of average citizens who aren't interested in politics and would be more interested if it's brought to them in a comedic, funny, satirical way.

Bassem Youssef

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Groucho Marx

I'm for whatever gets you through the night.

I'm for whatever gets you through the night.

Frank Sinatra

It's funny: when people always talk about the importance of role models, I used to think that was so exaggerated, but as I get older, I start to realize I don't feel that way so much anymore. If you see somebody like you who's doing something, an older version of what you are, it does make you feel like it's more possible.

Demetri Martin

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