Top 451 Funny Quotes

My mama never wore a pair of pants when I was growing up, and now that's all she wears. It was so funny for me when I first started seeing Mama wear pants. It was like it wasn't Mama. Now I've bought her many a pantsuit because she just lives in them.

Dolly Parton

You know what's funny to me? Attitude.

You know what's funny to me? Attitude.

Don Rickles

It's funny, but you get to a time in your life when you think you have all the friends you will ever have.

It's funny, but you get to a time in your life when you think you have all the friends you will ever have.

Liam Neeson

If a song is funny and absurd, and it sounds great, it's just going to be that much funnier. And there's no better example of that than 'Monty Python.'

If a song is funny and absurd, and it sounds great, it's just going to be that much funnier. And there's no better example of that than 'Monty Python.'

Seth MacFarlane

I've been called funny. I assume my wife thinks I'm funny. But generally, if you bumped into me and said hello, I would say hello back, politely. And that would be it.

I've been called funny. I assume my wife thinks I'm funny. But generally, if you bumped into me and said hello, I would say hello back, politely. And that would be it.

Robert Webb

I wish I could be as thin as Jessica Simpson. I think she looks gorgeous! I have had Jessica on my show several times, and I can tell you that girl is genuine and funny with a great self-deprecating sense of humor.

Rachael Ray

When I made a breakthrough as an actor, people started to say, 'Who's that bloke with the funny name?' They advised me to change it, saying it would never be put up in lights outside theaters because they couldn't afford the electricity. But I would never contemplate changing it. It's who I am.

Pete Postlethwaite

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

Rodney Dangerfield

Things can be funny when people are uneasy. It softens them up and stops them falling asleep on the sofa. I like those moments where people half-smile and half-wince.

Things can be funny when people are uneasy. It softens them up and stops them falling asleep on the sofa. I like those moments where people half-smile and half-wince.

Mark Haddon

The difference between you and the funny person on TV is that they acted on their ideas.

The difference between you and the funny person on TV is that they acted on their ideas.

Rob Manuel

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