Erma Bombeck

On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.

I suppose the White House thinks it's doing what Big Business wants, but it will lead to vastly increased taxes, because all these guest workers are to be allowed to bring their children.

Secretary Clinton has dramatically changed the face of U.S. foreign policy globally for the good. But I wish she had been unleashed more by the White House.

I'm a big action junkie. I grew up on the '80s action movies - the bad ones and the good ones.