I started being a comedy fan when I was, I'm going to guess, like 5 or 6 years old. Demetri Martin comedyfanguess Change image and share on social
I love catching a snapshot of something that is just about to happen. Or maybe something that just happened, you know. But I like especially that just-before kind of feeling. Demetri Martin catchfelthappen Change image and share on social
Another term for balloon is bad breath holder. Demetri Martin badballoonbreath Change image and share on social
I've often liked a girl, made her laugh, and thought she liked me, and then found out that she didn't like me that way. I've definitely done time in the friend zone. Demetri Martin findfriendgirl Change image and share on social
As a creative person, you want to have a foothold and sense of progress. Demetri Martin creativefootholdperson Change image and share on social
But what I was going to say was, I just figured I'm going to go boldly in the direction of my dreams, say it as Thoreau would say, and just see where it takes me. Demetri Martin boldlydirectiondream Change image and share on social
I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything. Demetri Martin buygoodplay Change image and share on social
For example, I was a White House intern the summer before I dropped out of law school. Everybody knew about it. I'd come home and go to church and everybody would say, 'Oh, my God. Demetri, you're working at the White House.' Demetri Martin churchdemetridrop share on social
I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny. Demetri Martin funnykidpeople Change image and share on social
I think it's interesting that 'cologne' rhymes with 'alone.' Demetri Martin cologneinterestrhyme Change image and share on social
