When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding. Demetri Martin californiakidlive Change image and share on social
There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I like that name, 'Futon World.' Makes me think of a magical place that gets less and less comfortable over time. Demetri Martin callcomfortablefuton Change image and share on social
And of course I didn't make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money. Demetri Martin jobmakemoney Change image and share on social
I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.' Demetri Martin clipcomputercool share on social
My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal. Demetri Martin disposalgarbageplumb Change image and share on social
I'd love to win trophies, be in movies, have a body of work I'm proud of and find a way to enjoy it along the way. Success is probably a more of a complicated thing than that. Demetri Martin bodycomplicateenjoy Change image and share on social
I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny. Demetri Martin funnykidpeople Change image and share on social
I started being a comedy fan when I was, I'm going to guess, like 5 or 6 years old. Demetri Martin comedyfanguess Change image and share on social
I like to use 'I Can't Believe it's Not Butter' on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable. Demetri Martin breakfastbuttereat Change image and share on social
