I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs. Demetri Martin backlightpocket Change image and share on social
But long story short, I didn't start doing stand-up because I wanted to have a TV show or be an actor or even wanted to write sketch comedy. I got into stand-up because I love stand-up. Demetri Martin actorcomedylong Change image and share on social
I was a good student when I was a kid, and I did everything I was supposed to do, and I got A's. Demetri Martin goodkidstudent Change image and share on social
Sometimes I use my jokes as building blocks for larger bits. I like to draw and play music, so sometimes I do those things along with the jokes. Demetri Martin bitblockbuild Change image and share on social
Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline. Demetri Martin ideajokelove Change image and share on social
A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy. Demetri Martin candygarbagegive Change image and share on social
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. Demetri Martin attackbadcharade Change image and share on social
I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes you're really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flipflops, you're saying: 'Hope I don't get chased today.' 'Be nice to people in sneakers.' Demetri Martin behaviorchaseday share on social
I was student council president in high school, and even in law school, I was vice-president of the student bar association. Demetri Martin associationbarcouncil Change image and share on social
