If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters. Demetri Martin amputeecallhang Change image and share on social
When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults. Demetri Martin catapultfatfriend Change image and share on social
I didn't do improv in college, I never performed, I didn't do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major. Demetri Martin collegegovernmenthistory Change image and share on social
I think, at first blush, the '60s always enticed me. There's something about the '60s, it's not hard to like it. Demetri Martin 60sblushentice Change image and share on social
It's very easy to go through your whole life and never really get anything done or have any real meaningful interactions or relationships. All of a sudden you're dead, and I'm going to say that's got to be a letdown. Demetri Martin deadeasyinteraction share on social
They say that structure is freedom, and in a sense it is. When you're dealing with multiple constraints, you have to figure out what you can get out of that. Demetri Martin constraintdealfigure Change image and share on social
I'm always excited to try something I haven't done. Demetri Martin excite Change image and share on social
If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat! Demetri Martin fatladlespoon Change image and share on social
