I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. Steven Wright daydreammindwander Change image and share on social
I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight Show.' There's truly nothing like it; it's intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual. Steven Wright casualcomedyexhilarate share on social
I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends. Steven Wright explainfeelfriend share on social
Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it's dangerous. Steven Wright breakdangerousfreeze Change image and share on social
When I die, I'm gonna leave my body to science fiction. Steven Wright bodydiefiction Change image and share on social
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side. Steven Wright futureperipheralside Change image and share on social
I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot. Steven Wright beardaydiary Change image and share on social
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. Steven Wright alaskabermudaclaus Change image and share on social
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. Steven Wright distancetimewalk Change image and share on social
When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules? Steven Wright askguykid Change image and share on social
