I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side. Steven Wright futureperipheralside Change image and share on social
I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious! Steven Wright apartmentfuriousinstall Change image and share on social
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.' Steven Wright birthdayburncandle Change image and share on social
I love eating chocolate cake and ice cream after a show. I almost justify it in my mind as, 'You were a good boy onstage and you did your show, so now you can have some cake and ice cream.' Steven Wright boycakechocolate Change image and share on social
Like other kids wanted to become firemen or astronauts, I wanted to make people laugh. Steven Wright astronautfiremankid Change image and share on social
I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific. Steven Wright buygeneralspecific Change image and share on social
When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.' Steven Wright attentiondayfunny Change image and share on social
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. Steven Wright countrycrossgreat Change image and share on social
My favorite book is anything by Kurt Vonnegut - he's my literary hero. I got to meet him several times, which was a great thrill for me. I don't really remember what we talked about. Steven Wright bookfavoritegreat Change image and share on social
I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight Show.' There's truly nothing like it; it's intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual. Steven Wright casualcomedyexhilarate share on social