George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk. Steven Wright announcerbridgegeorge Change image and share on social
George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it. Steven Wright albumcarlinclass share on social
On the other hand, you have different fingers. Steven Wright fingerhand Change image and share on social
I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific. Steven Wright buygeneralspecific Change image and share on social
There's something about being in front of a live audience that's fun. It's a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can't get it anywhere else. And I've been doing it since I was 23, so it's part of my being - it's part of my fabric as a person. Steven Wright aliveaudienceelectric share on social
When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.' Steven Wright attentiondayfunny Change image and share on social
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. Steven Wright countrycrossgreat Change image and share on social
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. Steven Wright daydreammindwander Change image and share on social
My doctor told me I shouldn't work out until I'm in better shape. I told him, 'All right; don't send me a bill until I pay you.' Steven Wright billdoctorpay Change image and share on social
