They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one. Rita Rudner bankbusylocal Change image and share on social
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with? Rita Rudner childguyman Change image and share on social
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them. Rita Rudner airbuildcastle Change image and share on social
I'm not a person who likes authority. I just love the fact that it's up to me, and I go straight to the audience. Rita Rudner audienceauthorityfact Change image and share on social
My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head. Rita Rudner agedayfake Change image and share on social
Barbie ruined my life! It's a really bad image for women. For a long time I thought I was deformed - because my heels didn't touch the ground. I was walking around on tiptoes. What's up with that? I think that it's a bad thing for a woman to try to emulate. Rita Rudner badbarbiedeform share on social
My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping. Rita Rudner buryhusbandmother Change image and share on social
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. Rita Rudner eventuallyideameet Change image and share on social
Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid. Rita Rudner breastlargemake Change image and share on social
While I do occasionally order items on the Internet, it's hard to teach an old shopper new tricks. I'm convinced that the catalogue will eventually disappear, but not until the last baby boomers have kicked off their smelly Nikes and been buried in mulch. Rita Rudner babyboomerbury share on social
