I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. Rita Rudner cultdogmember Change image and share on social
Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before. Rita Rudner daymothertaste Change image and share on social
You are always trying to please people before you get to the public whenever you do anything that requires a corporate body to sanction it. Rita Rudner bodycorporatepeople Change image and share on social
I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. Rita Rudner childfeltfriend Change image and share on social
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them. Rita Rudner airbuildcastle Change image and share on social
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. Rita Rudner eventuallyideameet Change image and share on social
Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid. Rita Rudner breastlargemake Change image and share on social
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso. Rita Rudner cosmeticdoctorfull Change image and share on social
I'm not a person who likes authority. I just love the fact that it's up to me, and I go straight to the audience. Rita Rudner audienceauthorityfact Change image and share on social
My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head. Rita Rudner agedayfake Change image and share on social
