I wanted to say things that were natural coming from me. Rita Rudner comenaturalthing Change image and share on social
If you are who you are on stage, people pay attention. Rita Rudner attentionpaypeople Change image and share on social
If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good. Rita Rudner audiencefeelgood Change image and share on social
I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling. Rita Rudner felthappyjoke Change image and share on social
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. Rita Rudner buycarpetchild Change image and share on social
Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?' Rita Rudner childdateguy Change image and share on social
I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body. Rita Rudner angorablondbody Change image and share on social
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. Rita Rudner bathroomconsistentlyfall Change image and share on social
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. Rita Rudner hollywoodmarriagemilk Change image and share on social
A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax. Rita Rudner bikinicountrydie Change image and share on social
