Rita Rudner

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.

The thrill of acting is making a character real. Modeling is the opposite of real. It's being fake in front of the camera.

I'd date someone younger or older; age doesn't matter to me. Or looks, really - it's all about maturity.

Well, I actually wrote her a letter a couple of days ago congratulating her. The tone I tried to convey in the letter is, look, you are a part of a great American historical process.