I'm not a person who likes authority. I just love the fact that it's up to me, and I go straight to the audience. Rita Rudner audienceauthorityfact Change image and share on social
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. Rita Rudner buyearexperience Change image and share on social
Every audience has a personality. Some of them don't have the best personalities, but you're on a date with them for an hour and a half, so you just make the best of it. Rita Rudner audiencedatehalf Change image and share on social
I love to write jokes and that's all I think about. Rita Rudner jokelovewrite Change image and share on social
While I do occasionally order items on the Internet, it's hard to teach an old shopper new tricks. I'm convinced that the catalogue will eventually disappear, but not until the last baby boomers have kicked off their smelly Nikes and been buried in mulch. Rita Rudner babyboomerbury share on social
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso. Rita Rudner cosmeticdoctorfull Change image and share on social
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire? Rita Rudner dressfirehold Change image and share on social
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry. Rita Rudner buyearexperience Change image and share on social
I don't do Jewish stuff because I don't want people to be left out. If I mention the Torah in Alabama, it's not going to go down that well. I used to do some Jewish jokes because when I started, I used to play lots of Jewish country clubs. Rita Rudner alabamaclubcountry share on social
I found out I had a real love for comedy and comedy writing. The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing. Rita Rudner actcomediancomedy share on social
