My mother's mother is a very tough cookie. She buried three husbands. Two of them were just napping. Rita Rudner burycookiehusband Change image and share on social
I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body. Rita Rudner angorablondbody Change image and share on social
Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?' Rita Rudner childdateguy Change image and share on social
I have to visualise my jokes, live my jokes, feel the audience because every audience is different. It's like having a different dancing partner every night. Rita Rudner audiencedancefeel Change image and share on social
Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie. Rita Rudner badbarbieconfident Change image and share on social
I don't do Jewish stuff because I don't want people to be left out. If I mention the Torah in Alabama, it's not going to go down that well. I used to do some Jewish jokes because when I started, I used to play lots of Jewish country clubs. Rita Rudner alabamaclubcountry share on social
A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax. Rita Rudner bikinicountrydie Change image and share on social
Barbie ruined my life! It's a really bad image for women. For a long time I thought I was deformed - because my heels didn't touch the ground. I was walking around on tiptoes. What's up with that? I think that it's a bad thing for a woman to try to emulate. Rita Rudner badbarbiedeform share on social
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. Rita Rudner hollywoodmarriagemilk Change image and share on social
